Snap out of it

C'est moi...tabi-fied!

I've lived here in the heartland for 3 years now, and as some of you know, it hasn't been a good fit.  I was ready to embrace change when we were transfered here after 26 years...our whole family life!...in Cleveland, but despite its friendly people and my repeated attempts to find/make a place for myself, it has never felt right.  And so it was a great relief to hear of our unexpected transfer to Chicago.  (You may recall my posts from that time...*Yippeee, I'm outta here*, *Time off for good behavior*, *Sentence commuted*?  Kidding, although I considered them.)  All to explain why there's been so much recent angst over the as-yet-unsold house.  I've basically been sitting here alone all summer, house staged for sale and bags figuratively packed, waiting to join M in Chicago.  I made the situation so much worse for myself by dropping out of activities and neatening workspaces to the point of creative paralysis.  Frozen, waiting, ready to go on a moment's notice. 

Fudodo at Koyasan

I can't tell you what a difference that trip to Japan made to my mental health.  The change is palpable.  Getting away, spending time with M and Molly, seeing old friends and meeting new ones.  Sadly, I can't share a lot of the experiences and photos I'd love to post because they involve people who'd probably prefer not to be featured here, if they even knew where *here* is.  (Few outside my immediate family...M, Molly & K... know about Be*mused.  Surprised?)  I can share a few more, however. 

Hotel Urashima

On our last weekend in Japan, we joined Molly and her boyfriend for a wonderful weekend in Wakayama Prefecture at an onsen resort.  Tanya recently wrote about this popular aspect of Japanese life which I find to be a bit ironic, considering the propensity toward modesty in Japan.  Several times on earlier trips I had politely refused invitations, finally trying the experience on my third visit to Japan, when K's host family included me in a celebratory trip to Mt. Fuji for his 21st birthday in 2000.  We were all having a wonderful time when we arrived at the hotel and it became apparent that the whole point of the trip was to enjoy the onsen.  When in Rome...

FLASH...BREAKING NEWS!!!   While sitting here in my newly casually messy house, writing about my trip-acquired 'what-will-be,will-be' attitude regarding the whole impending move situation, a realtor and a young couple walked into my house...no notice, no knock, no kidding...right in the front door, ready to tour the place!  How's that for being thrown back into reality?  Ha!

And here I had been getting ready to tell you that now I'm a convert, that I love the onsen experience!  I wanted to write about spending a weekend among hundreds of other like-minded holiday visitors, families with members ranging in age from 5 to 85, all plotting our time to try as many of the 8 or so possible bath experiences at the resort, squeezing in meals and shopping, all on site, all of us roaming about, clad in yukata and little plastic slippers.

Two unidentified guests, post bath, ready to head out
to enjoy the ocean view.

I was going to tell you about soaking in hot spring baths in caves, overlooking the Pacific Ocean...of feeling the salt spray of waves crashing just outside and the cool ocean breeze wafting in.  The faint smell of sulphur and the softness of your skin after drying off. 

I planned to mention the funniest experience of the trip (my life?), walking into a bath to hear, "Molly!? I didn't know you were coming this weekend!!" and being introduced to a big bunch of her friends.  (Yes, all of us girls, exchanging pleasantries, au naturel. Sorry, no photos. Heh.)

Actual steamy shot of lobster pot bath, by undercover agent.
(Thanks, C!)

And then I was going to relate that now when I even think about getting stressed over the prospect of being here possibly through the winter, I just put myself back in that cave, sitting in the steamy pool with a towel on my head...ahhh. 

But now I can't, because I lost so much time doing the rush-rush tidy-up routine and driving around the neighborhood while strangers roamed my house. Tonight I'm heading to a meeting of a local knitting group that I used to belong to. 

*Dipping my toe back in the water*, so to speak.

Comments

[Kelli]

Lord. Tell me they bought the house! And your photos and time away sound just about perfect. So lovely!

[Leslie]

Your trip sounds wonderful! But how hard to spend so many months waiting for "the next thing." I'd be terrible at that! Hopefully the fall will bring good changes and the perfect buyers will appear soon.

[margene]

Get back into life! You're doing the right thing. Sometimes it does take that change of place to wake up the brain. Your pictures are a joy to see.

[Kathy]

I am so glad to read that you are feeling more balanced and engaged. Will miss you this weekend -- maybe one of these years?

[Emily]

You are such a GREAT writer! I'm crossing my fingers up here in Chicago that this is the one....

[myra]

Love the tabi shot! Hang in there Jan, I'll keep my fingers crossed too.

[Carole]

They just walked in? That must have been quite a surprise. Here's hoping that your new-found attitude will result in a sale!

[blackbird]

I'm loving your photos!

Sometimes changing one's outlook changes one's life -
I'm only sayin...

[dee]

your trip sounds wonderful and I could never tire of hearing about it or seeing whatever you choose to share in the way of pictures. They are all beautiful and I thank you for the joy of seeing things I will probably never get to see in real life.
Hope you can get back to doing the beautiful work that you do in the near future-I miss seeing the results of your fabulous sense of color and design.

[Scribbles & Bits]

Wow! That was a sudden about-face you were forced into. Sorry! I really really hope all this gets ironed out for you soon! I like the idea of the hot bath. In theory, I shy from the nudity part, but in reality, since everyone else is in the same state, I probably wouldn't even think about it. Or at least I like to think I'd be that urbane!

[Thimbleanna]

You know, I think maybe there's something about moving as we get older. I had the same experience when we moved to Minneapolis for 3 years. And who wouldn't love MN??? I did love it, but it just never felt like home -- I felt like I didn't belong. Probably now that you're relaxing, the right buyer will come along. Kind of like the advice they give people looking for a mate -- quit searching and they'll come to you??? Anyway, good luck with a sale soon!

[Michelle]

I am so loving your photos of your trip and they are pulling me out of my own craziness a little too! Thank you for that gift!

[Tanya]

So glad you had a good experience at the onsen! And you got to wear yukata and tabi! How nice. I only get there for a day trip so I never get to put on the whole outfit and relax. I love seeing Japan from your side of the world!

[monica]

good luck, good luck, good luck!!!

Onsen? sounds very relaxing.

[Norma]

Sheesh, what a shocker. NOT the au naturel baths, but the realtor and client walking right in while you were in the bath. Wait, was I not reading correctly? Hee.

Fingers crossed for the sale!!!! XO

[Cascade Lily]

Ooooh your onsen experience sounds wonderful! And dare I say it? Good luck with the house!

[Lisa]

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful pictures and tales of Japan!

Hope that last realtor visit is the winner and that you are comfortably settled in Chi-town by Christmas.

[Marisa]

Thinking happy thoughts for things to all fall into place. I'm sure that the knitting will be a comfort!

[JudyC]

Okay, a weird question for you. Can you not just go ahead and join M in Chicago and leave the house? My sister waited for school to be out then cleaned her house and left for NC, coming back every month or so to dust and check on the house.

I'd seriously consider it, at least for a month at a time. The house can be alone with itself right?

[Elizabeth]

Ahh, the trip sounds like bliss. I can relate to your experiene with the shutting down of life with the house. Unfortunately, I did not get the luxury mental health break and am still in transition, still everything packed away waiting for life to begin again. Not fun.
I will imagine myself at an onsen resort, maybe not in the baths, naked amongst strangers - not relaxing!